“I could never have a 40th birthday party. I’m slightly different with all my groups of friends. I wouldn’t know how to be.”
At first, I was a bit shocked when my friend said this. What did she mean?
On the one hand, I got it. We all take on different roles: at work, home and in friendships. We bring multiple parts of our personality to the forefront when dealing with people. But I couldn’t understand how it would be so difficult to shift between these in one evening.
It was Halloween yesterday. The kids just love dressing up and trick or treating. In fact, Elise learned how to say trick or treat just in the nick of time. Phew.
Something I had not paid much attention to before was the origins of Halloween. Its roots come from the Celtic tradition of ‘guising.’ So we disguise ourselves so as not to be recognised and taken by evil spirits roaming the world.
Could it be that she is using armour or ‘masks’ to keep her truest self safe from judgement? It would take an awful lot of effort to keep changing costumes and putting on a different mask every time you want to speak to a new person at your party. In fact, that would be completely exhausting.
To me, it’s just like trick or treating.
Being authentic is when the actions you take and what you say are in sync.
Now for THE TRICK.
In order to be authentic, you’ll need courage to bring forth your whole self, not just the bits that you like.
“Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?” – Elizabeth Gilbert
It can seem counterintuitive but actually revealing our true selves can mean less criticism and judgement. There’s something magnetic about an authentic person. While not everyone will like it, they will find it difficult to find fault because of the vulnerability it takes to be courageously you.
“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.” – Brené Brown.
Do you ever have a Freudian slips?