When something happens, why does it feel like I’m starting from scratch with my confidence? This was a question from one of my clients during a coaching session.
It all started with a concern that she had been using the wrong instrument setting to collect data. She was worried that it was a big mistake and not just this data set would be affected but all previous papers would need to be retracted. Despite doing due diligence up until this point she found herself phoning up the instrument suppliers and checking over and over again. She lost a whole day.
I asked her what was concerning her most about the situation.
✔️ It was a long way to fall. I could lose everything.
✔️ The fear of failure.
✔️ What other people will think.
✔️ Being judged.
A house of cards built on foundations of:
❌ External reassurance and recognition
❌ Giving over 100%
Then she said “If I am no good at work then who am I? I’m nothing without my work.” It boiled down to that old limiting belief, I’m not enough. This one is sneaky and shows up in so many different ways.
Instead, I implore you to build your house on stable foundations: your vision, purpose, mission, natural talents and values. When you define and fully own these you can notice and praise yourself when you add that unique value. Resulting in the cumulative effect of self-esteem.
Confidence without the need for external recognition.
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