Does grief equal love?

I’m not going to lie. Sometimes it can be quite a challenge to get down the second aisle at ALDI without buying something that I really don’t need. This week was a very pink reminder that it’s Valentine’s Day. Cuddly pigs with wings, heart shaped chocolates, single roses and pink fizz.

Love is far more complicated than this.

Whilst today is Valentine’s Day, it’s also my mother in laws birthday. She died of bowel cancer two years ago after a very long and determined battle for many years. I’ve heard the saying before that grief equals love. Love that can no longer express itself fully. Trapped.

Stored emotions in our bodies

It was 2014, Oscar was asleep in bed and I was breastfeeding Jenson whilst trying to talk to my mum and eat my lunch. My phone rang. It wasn’t technically a day I was paid to work but I always fielded phone calls, emails and questions. I diligently agreed to the onslaught of requests. “Of course, I’ll get that sent right over.”

When I put the phone down, I burst into tears.

It really wasn’t the request to send the information over straight away. It was everything else that had come before. All the late nights, weekend deadlines and built up resentment. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

As I’m writing about that event, I don’t still feel strong emotion about it. I’ve cleared the feelings about that event.

It is important to clear past emotions because:

  • Suppressed anger can turn in depression.
  • Suppressed fear can turn into chronic anxiety.
  • Suppressed emotions contribute to a wide range of health conditions.
  • Suppressed emotions stop us functioning optimally in the present as we are often triggered into overreactions from the past.

Once you have cleared the backlog from the past, then you can use your emotions in the present as an accurate navigation system.

Emotional Alarm Bells

Emotions are little alarm bells to get you to pay attention e.g.

  • Anger means someone has crossed your boundary.
  • Fear means that there is a threat coming – be prepared.
  • Vulnerability means that you need to be compassionate and caring to yourself.

To Clear Emotions
1.       Become aware of:

  • Uncomfortable emotions you feel often.
  • Uncomfortable emotions you don’t often feel.

2.       Let the emotions out:

  • Crying is your body’s natural way of releasing emotions.
  • Move your body.
  • Change your state. Go outside, for a walk, run…
  • Dance it out.
  • Scream into a towel.
  • Put together a play list to shift through emotions.
  • ***With my programme clients I use the PowerType release process and retiring Superwoman, The Bitch, The Martyr and The Victim using NLP techniques to shift deeply rooted thoughts, behaviours and emotions.***

The past has gone. The events have finished. There is nothing we can change, except how we feel about it. And to the extent that we’re feeling yucky about it, then we’re doing that to ourselves.

Keep letting go,

Hannah x

PS: How do you currently deal with challenging emotions? Hit reply and let me know. I love to read your responses and I reply to each and every one of them.