It was never going to be rainbows and unicorns

Last weeks blog post was supposed to be a bank holiday special all about the 7 keys to effective delegation, using getting the kids to be in charge of toilet roll distribution as the example. It’s written, well sort of. I find that my writing flows better if I dump it out by hand into my notebook and then edit as I type it up. The blog post is written in my notebook and half typed up.

It’s not done because I’ve been in a funk since last Thursday! 

It’s still the Summer holiday’s here so I’m wrangling 3 children whilst also trying to keep my business steady until they are back at school in September. I’d had a full on day taking the kids to the theatre. We had just all been to the toilet and made it over to the shopping centre, feet measured and in the queue for school shoe fittings at Clarkes when Jenson pipes up. “I need the toilet.” Oscar chimes in, “oh me too.” Me exasperated, “you’ve literally just been.” So shopping abandoned we head all the way back to the theatre for the toilet as I have no idea where the nearest ones are but I know there’s some there (I have just been).

In the evening I did another driving trip to see my 3 longstanding school friends for a belated birthday dinner. It was lovely, but another late night. When I woke up the next day, I had a cracking headache, sneezes and another full-on day of the kids ahead. I became snappy and short tempered.

Then instead of taking 10 minutes to relax when Elsie had her nap time, I got The Urge to label the kids clothing, separate their stuff into boxes and have a grand old sort out.

I track my cycles and I know this means that I’m pre-menstrual and sure enough the next day my period arrived. Even knowing that I’m poorly, my hormones are at their lowest, so I have less energy than usual and I’m trying to look after all the kids, I knew that I was off.

There was something more to it as my mood hadn’t shifted 4 days later. What was going on?

We went to see The Lion King yesterday and the music got to me, I felt really emotional and I had a sense that it was an emotional release that I needed but what was annoying was that I didn’t know why. Being a scientist, I always want to know why!

There are a few different techniques for emotional release. As I didn’t know what on earth it was all about, I couldn’t take a specific belief or statement into a limitation release. There was no space in the house for me to be by myself and cry it out and I didn’t have the energy to go for an emotional run. I settled on a PowerType release process. I have used this script with every single one of my clients, it’s so powerful. I took the emotion of feeling off and grumpy.

The PowerType Release Process

The script allowed me to explore how it is all connected and I discovered that it was linked to feeling like I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. I have loved having the Summer with the kids but I’m also hugely passionate about my work. Basically, I was ready to get back to work but there was still another week to go before they are back in school.

Let’s put the guilt of that to the side for one moment as we can both love our children and want to achieve things with our own lives.

As the script unfolded, I also became aware that I have felt like this in the past too. When I was studying my A-Levels I spoke openly about wanting to be a psychologist or a social scientist. My tentative conversational feelers were met with, “you don’t want to do that, you’ll be dealing with all sorts of people.” My mum cares about me so much and didn’t want to see me put in an unsafe position or dealing with anything that wasn’t rainbows and unicorns.

However, that’s what I’ve always been drawn to. From that point, I tried my pathway to medicine which would have been plenty of blood, guts and bodily fluids. From there I went into Chemistry, choosing to work with the most flammable air sensitive chemicals on earth! I was never going to take the Disney pathway, it just isn’t me.

Finally, the process transformed all of this into an affirmation.

I am unstoppable.

In the past, I allowed myself to be easily guided in a different direction.

In the world of work, I was allowed others to shape and mould me into what they needed me to be.

But now, I can carve out my own future.

One that I’m so passionate about I get the grumps when I can’t fulfil upon the commitment.

Just knowing this is huge for me. It means that I can spend the next week enjoying my children because I then have 6 solid weeks on my next pillar project, completely uninterrupted (well for 3 days a week anyway).

Phew! The fog has lifted.

Have you ever found yourself in a funk? What process did you use to lift yourself out of it? I’d love to hear them all.

Hit reply and let me know.

Keep opening up.