Pass the Parcel
From party games to career growth, are we wrapping life in too many rules? Discover how to challenge your inner Protector Controller and thrive in uncertainty.
Pass the Parcel
My daughter turned seven on Friday. We invited five of her friends over for a party after school. Think limbo, musical chairs, sleeping lions—and, of course, pass the parcel.
In recent years, pass the parcel has become a logistical nightmare for parents. Every child needs a turn, which means meticulously wrapping enough layers and remembering who hasn’t yet had one. And don’t forget the emergency layer in case something goes wrong!
I remember this game being very different during my childhood. The adult simply closed their eyes, and it was all down to chance. So, when did all these additional rules creep in? To the children’s surprise, I decided to play it old school—and guess what? They all survived!
Uncertainty Is the Only Certainty
Life doesn’t come with guarantees. We can’t control every situation to ensure a specific outcome.
- A permanent contract doesn’t guarantee job security; redundancy can happen at any time.
- Waiting for your manager to retire won’t guarantee you their position, no matter how many times you’re told, “It’s yours.”
- Leaving an organisation won’t solve every problem if you haven’t clarified what you truly want.
The truth is, nothing is certain—not even tomorrow.
Navigating Uncertainty
“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”
– John Allen Paulos
Instead of attempting to force certainty with rules and expectations, it’s time to embrace the discomfort of uncertainty. Doing so means creating space between yourself and your inner Protector Controller.
The Protector Controller
Do you feel compelled to maintain safety, comfort, and control at all costs? Do you avoid new or uncomfortable situations? This is the domain of your inner Protector Controller.
As Dr. Shefali writes in A Radical Awakening:
“Pleasers want to show the world how good they are, whereas controllers want to show the world just how competent they are. Both are ruled by a morbid unconscious desire to answer the burning internal question, ‘Am I good enough?’ They quench their anxiety that they aren’t good enough by channelling this frenetic energy into controlling everything in their sight.”
Feeling vulnerable or uncertainty challenges the rules of the Protector Controller. To navigate this, acknowledge the part of yourself that fears uncertainty. Ask it:
“What do you need to know, have, or do to feel safer and more comfortable?”
This dialogue creates the freedom to step outside the lines and move purposefully towards what truly matters—aligned with who you are.
💪 Finish the year strong by joining the final Intentional Careers™ workshop of 2024. Register for free today ➡️ intentional-careers.com/workshop
As always, my inbox is open. I’m just an email away.
Keep opening up,
Hannah
PS: Check out the latest episode of the Women in STEM Career & Confidence podcast, featuring Dr Chiara Trovatello—a Marie Skłodowska-Curie Global Fellow, Assistant Professor at Politecnico di Milano, and Optica Ambassador.
🎧 In this episode, we discuss:
- Trying new opportunities (like moving countries) before committing long-term.
- How our inner Pusher, driven by a fear of failure, can lead to overworking.
- Separating career success from self-worth to navigate challenges like grant applications.
Listen now:
PPS: When you’re ready, here are four ways I can help you:
- 📖 Benchmark your career for free: Take the Career Accelerator Scorecard and receive a personalised report. Get started.
- 💻 Join the Intentional Careers™ Workshop: Register for free (£295 value). Multiple dates and times available. Sign up here.
- 🗣️ Explore the Career Design Mastermind: Book a call to see if it’s right for you—only 4 places left for January 2025. Learn more.
- 🎤 Book me as a speaker: Need inspiration for your next event? Hit reply or visit hannahnikeroberts.com.