Primary Selves

It was Sunday 7:30pm. I had been for a 5K open water swim, followed by a lovely hot bath with all my best bath products. I’ve given up keeping them for special occasions 😉 The kids were in bed and I sat down to watch an episode of suits when…

…I heard that voice in my head, “you really should be preparing your content resource file pieces and after that it would be great to get a head start on the second iteration of the Bench 2 Market slides.” Automatically I stood up and then caught myself, “oh hello Pusher”, I said!

We all have different voices in our heads, this is perfectly normal and we move between these modes of thinking seamlessly every single day. However, if we are not consciously aware of them, they can run our lives. If I had not caught my Pusher in action, I would have found myself 9pm staring at the computer unable to finish because there’s always a few more things The Pusher can add to that to-do list!

The Pusher part of our personality is trying it’s very best to help us be successful and avoid failure at all costs. It will drive your performance unmercifully. Next time you catch your Pusher having a clever idea just when you are ready to relax try the following sequence.

1. Recognition
Say “oh hello Pusher”
Why are you here right now?
Listen to the part’s answer about how things are

2. Respect
Thank the part very much for its concerns
Be grateful for the job the part is trying to do for you

3. Reassurance
Reassure the part that you are able to deal with these challenges
Notice that you now have a choice whether to do the thing the part wants or not.

I know this process works first hand, I’m already on Season 2 🙈