I’ve been wanting to improve the relationship with my mum for a while now. She helps out a lot with the kids and we see each other in that capacity three times a week. You would be forgiven for thinking it was a perfectly functional relationship. That’s the thing, it’s perfectly functional but what I desire is for that relationship to go below surface level. For it to be deeper and even more meaningful.
There are different ways to ‘get into action’ around a desire. The masculine approach is to: think, do and give. I am very well versed in this approach. See a problem, think of a solution and give it an action 💪 (👋 hello Superwoman).
I tried this approach and I was really struggling and felt a huge resistance to the actions I thought of. It felt like I was swimming upstream 🐟.
I switched to the feminine approach: feel, be, receive. I had set the intention to deepen our relationship. Note that even in the word intention I have created ‘tension’. I allowed myself to feel the feelings I had around this challenge. To be present and surrender to the reality.
When Elsie (my 4-year-old) arrived home from my mum’s house I noticed her hair smelt lovely. My mum’s perfume. I texted my mum and asked about her perfume and we had a little exchange. It felt easy, effortless and probably had a similar outcome as the first step I had logically thought of in masculine mode – buying flowers).
I have started to make some progress towards my intention and what’s more, it was easy. The only slight caveat is that you have to feel your feelings first to fully own the situation. Yep, I hear you, emotions are so inconvenient but once you have felt them, the pathway is clear.
There is no right or wrong good or bad, we need a dose of both the masculine and feminine energy but if you find you have a default way of being then why not try the opposite and see what happens as a result? You might just find yourself in flow 🌊.
Hit reply and let me know how this lands for you.
Keep opening up,
PPS Are you interested in being a coach or developing coaching skills as part of your professional or leadership development? The company I trained with are running a 1-day virtual coaching skills workshop 10th March 2022. Find out more about ELEVATE.