It Was Shameful

I was watching Elsie’s swimming lesson this week and something strange was happening. The teacher would get all of the swimmers to line up but when Elsie (and a few others) got to the front, they were made to wait at the side and let another swimmer have a turn. This went on for 10 minutes of a 25-minute lesson. I couldn’t understand what was going on.

When I got to the pool side at the end to pick her up, she ran at me and cried. An inconsolable 4-year-old for the rest of the evening. It turns out that when you don’t listen properly, the punishment is missing out on the rest of the lesson. A tactic to shame someone into conforming. The result? Elsie was adamant that she would never go to swimming lessons ever again.

Perhaps something similar happened to you in the past?

It’s these moments early on in our lives that start emotional allergies. Feelings that we hate to feel and will do anything to avoid. Elsie felt so bad about herself, her way of controlling that feeling was to say, “I never want to go to a swimming lesson ever again.” If she could avoid the situation, there’s no chance of feeling the feeling again.

I did this myself for 10 years with presentations. I would do anything to get out of them!

This is what I said to her. Right now, you are feeling some uncomfortable feelings. It’s important that you feel all of your feelings to get them out of your body. After a while she stopped crying, I told her that we don’t make big decisions like deciding about swimming lessons when we are feeling our feelings or straight after so what would make her feel good right now. She said cuddles, rabbit teddy and a story.

I believe it’s the same way with our careers. When we try to make decisions about ‘what’s next?’ from a position of eroded confidence, we are hindered by our insecurities. That eroded confidence may have originated from emotional allergies, induced by being in the capability trap or the environment within which we work. To fulfil our full potential, we need to pull out the source of the problem at the very root.

That’s exactly why the second foundational layer of my Career Pivots Compass methodology is ‘Overcoming Limitations’. Right now, the doors are open to the 6-month Career Design Mastermind group coaching container which starts 1st July and runs until 31st December 2022.

We work on 3 main outcomes: finding balance, restoring confidence and figuring out ‘what’s next?’ and making it happen!

  1. Watch the INTENTIONAL CAREERS workshop replay here.
  2. Review the Career Design Mastermind programme.
  3. Book a 30 minute 1:1 call to see if the programme is a good fit for you. If you can’t find a suitable time/date drop me a message.

Cohort 2 sold out within 48 hours and I have decided to open up another group of 12, of which 9 spaces are available. If not now, when?

Keep Opening Up,


PS There’s still time to catch the 7-day replay of the INTENTIONAL CAREERS workshop. < < CLICK HERE > >

PPS Want to talk to me about joining the next cohort of the CAREER DESIGN MASTERMIND? Book a 30 minute consultation call < < CLICK HERE > > There are 9 places left!