Swimming has been a thread woven through most of my life: Junior internationals → university swim team → triathlons → open water → and for the past three years, masters swimming.

But last weekend marked something new. For the first time, I finally raced at the Swim England Masters Nationals.

This wasn’t because of lack of opportunity. I’d entered before. In fact, I entered last year… and then pulled out. My excuse was that “None of my teammates are going.” If I’m really honest with myself, it was because I was afraid of not doing well.

I knew people there. I could have integrated with another club. But underneath the surface was a strong inner narrative: “If I’m not convinced I’ll do well, I’d rather not try at all.”

Does this sound familiar? For me it wasn’t as clear a statement as that, it was more of an overriding feeling that I didn’t want to do it. My schedule looked tight with travel, and this would be too much.

This isn’t laziness. It’s not a lack of drive. It’s a constellation of protective strategies we develop to avoid shame, failure, or emotional exposure.

Meet the Inner Team That Keeps You “Safe”

👊 The Pusher Highly ambitious, relentlessly goal-driven. It cannot rest. It’s allergic to failure and insists we keep striving to prove our worth. It equates effort with safety.

🎯 The Perfectionist Sets impossibly high standards. Doesn’t want us doing anything unless it’s certain we’ll do it really well. It’s trying to protect us from embarrassment, judgement, or feeling “not good enough.”

🛑 The Protector Controller Its job? Avoid all risk. Stay small, stay safe, stay in control. Especially in the areas where we’re most vulnerable to shame or emotional exposure so expanding our comfort zones feels really hard.

Last year, my Perfectionist wasn’t satisfied with the level of training. My Pusher felt like it hadn’t done “enough.” So my Protector Controller made the executive decision to bail.

And yet this year? I raced. With less training. Less preparation. Less certainty.

Why?

Because I stopped letting my Protector Controller drive the car. It was still in the back seat, shouting directions, but I’d built the capacity to stay in the discomfort.

As Brené Brown puts it:

“Daring is not saying I’m willing to risk failure. Daring is saying ‘I know I will eventually fail, and I’m still all in.’”

And that’s exactly how I felt last weekend. Not just in it for the medals, the accolades, but for the whole ride; the nerves (and there were plenty), the camaraderie, the satisfaction of showing up regardless of outcome.

My absolute highlight was watching an 84-year-old man swim the 400m Individual Medley. It was humbling, heart-opening, and deeply inspiring. May we all still be going, still showing up, in whatever form, today, tomorrow and at 84.

So, What Does This Have to Do with Your Career?

Everything. Because the curse of being good at many things is that you start avoiding anything where you might not excel.

Your Protector Controller might be the reason you:

• Keep putting off that promotion application
• Don’t go for the secondment
• Stay in a role that’s long past its expiry date
• Only consider change when it’s forced upon you

The better you are at something, the harder it is to risk not being great at the next thing. That’s not a flaw, that’s human. But it is a trap.

You Don’t Have to Be Medal-Worthy to Step In

This isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about not letting the fear of imperfection be the thing that stops you from trying. What if the win isn’t the outcome, but the courage to enter?

☕ Reflective Journal Prompts

• Where is my Perfectionist part holding me back from starting something new?
• Where is my Protector Controller making exploration feel unsafe?
• What’s one thing I would do if I had the courage to do it?

Whether you’re navigating a career pivot, trying to find meaning in your current role, or questioning what’s next, your fear doesn’t have to disappear. You just have to choose not to let it drive.

Keep opening up,

Hannah

P.S. Ready to get intentional before the new year? Here’s how I can support you:

• 📖 Step 1: Take the Career Accelerator Scorecard
• 💻 Step 2: Join the next Intentional Careers™ Workshop
• ➡️ Step 3: Book a free 1-2-1 Strategy Session
• ✨ Step 4: Apply for Career Design Mastermind – Cohort 11 starts January 2026.

P.P.S. Now taking bookings for keynotes, workshops, and events in 2026. Let’s shift your organisational culture from undervalued to purposeful and valued. Review the options.