In the last Coffee & Notes, I introduced the concept of the three major energy thieves in our lives: worry, resentment and comparisonitus. When it comes to your worries, did you make the list of everything you are currently worrying about? Made decisions on each worry, decided on the process and actioned them? You can re-read the blog post here.
Today we are covering resentment.
I always assumed that resentment was on the anger end of the emotional spectrum. I have a very strong Pleaser part of me so when I self-sacrifice for others without any acknowledgement, sometimes I feel resentful about that. I’ve described this in the past at The Martyr mode of operating, ‘silently seething’.
Writer Marc Brackett has a different take on this, he believes resentment is part of envy.
So, if we take my example above. I’m not angry because you are sat on the sofa watching TV. I’m resentful because I’m so tired I want to rest but unlike you, I’m going to pretend that I don’t need to.
The other person is displaying what you would like a tiny bit more of.
“Resentment is the feeling of frustration, judgement, anger, “better than” and/or hidden envy related to perceived unfairness or injustice. It’s an emotion that we often experience when we fail to set boundaries or ask for what we need, or when expectations let us down because they are based on things we can’t control, like what other people think, what they feel or how they’re going to react.” – Brené Brown
Try processing your resentment through this series of questions.
I resent [insert name of person] because…
My part is…
My action is…
For example. I resent my partner because…there is inequity in the chore distribution.
My part is…I have not been communicating properly the ongoing nature of the requests.
My action is… to communicate the ongoing nature of the actions.
Will you take the time to name the elephant in the room and do something about it to get yourself back to personal integrity? You can share your responses by hitting reply.
Keep Opening Up,
PS Join me on Wednesday 30th November 12:00-14:30 (UK Time) for the 2023 Planning Workshop. Don’t worry if you can’t attend live, the replay will be available until 01/01/2023.
> > Tickets on sale here < <
📅 Gather your learning for 2023 through a structured review of 2022.
🌅 Connect with your longer-term vision and dream into the possibility of 2023.
☑️ Pinpoint key milestones you need to hit each quarter in 2023 to move you towards that vision.
📃 Get fine level planning completed for Q1 2023.
❌ Reflect and refine your boundaries and non-negotiables.
🖋️ Planning 2023 workbook included with templates for accountability actions.
🌊 When you join this event, each ticket provides 2,000 days of access to clean water for people in the world through the Business for Good (B1G1) scheme.
> > Tickets on sale here < <
Do you know someone who would benefit from this workshop? Please do share the link with them!
PPS One of my incredible clients, Dr Natsuko Suwaki joined me on the Women in STEM Career & Confidence podcast this week to tell her inspiring story and her journey through coaching. Listen in on your preferred platform 🎧 iTunes 🎧 Spotify 🎧 Other Platforms