It only takes one person to walk off the court

We all have a default setting when it comes to interacting with others. I can remember a time when I thought I was super professional and indispensable at work but as soon as I walked into my managers office, something shifted. I was lacking in confidence, felt nervous and said yes to everything that was asked of me. Even if it would mean sitting at a computer, pushing through and feeling dizzy at 23:00.

I was in a positive bonding pattern.

The name positive is misleading because although these interactions are agreeable (do not cause arguments) they are not positive at all. It works because each person is co-dependent upon the other for something. In this case, I needed approval and recognition and let’s say for arguments sake, that the other person needed adoration and things to get done without push-back.

One time, I was asked to complete a task and naturally said yes of course (hello positive bonding pattern). After great feedback with no recommendations for changes, I completed the project. The day before the final deadline, my boss asked about the project and proclaimed that EVERYTHING needed to be reviewed and changed. I was so angry!

It doesn’t take too long before a positive bonding pattern turns toxic and negative.

In these interactions there is disrespect and sat like a widening abyss between you is: anger, rejection, judgements, hurt and fear.

These bonding patterns might be our default wiring but they do not need to remain a pattern in our lives.

It only takes one person to walk off the tennis court and the game is over 🎾.

We will be mapping your personal bonding patterns on day 2 of my BEYOND IMPOSTER SYNDROME workshop series.

Saturday 12th February
20:00-21:00 (UK time)
The Psychology of Selves
Meet your unique stress team ‘selves’ and how to spot when they have taken over your thoughts, actions and behaviours.

Sunday 13th February
20:00-21:00 (UK time)
Bonding Patterns: vulnerability with respect to others
Each of your ‘selves’ has a particular vulnerability. Learn what they are and how it causes repetitive issues with respect to others. Use the bonding pattern model to handle these situations differently.

Monday 14th February
20:00-21:00 (UK time)
Tools & Solutions
Discover three gold standard tools the break the cycle of pre-empting, overthinking and ruminating to unlock your true potential.

You will get the most out of this workshop series by joining live. If you can’t make a particular session, they will be recorded and available for 7 days on replay.

Hit reply with the words BEYOND IMPOSTER SYNDROME to get the joining details.