Struggling to juggle career ambitions and family life?

Discover why the real question isn’t “How do I manage it all?” but “What will I choose to lose?” 

Do your career ambitions and ideal family or personal life feel completely at odds with each other?

For years, I grappled with this tension. Minimising my career to be the present mum I wanted to be felt deeply unsatisfying professionally. Yet, pursuing my career aspirations left me drowning in mum guilt and shame. 

This struggle isn’t personal failure—it’s a symptom of the unrealistic expectations we hold as a society. The old narrative was, “You can’t have it all.” Now, it’s shifted to “You can have it all, but you also have to do it all.” The truth is, it’s neither. Believing that career and family can hold equal weight at all times is a myth. It’s not about balance; it’s more like a tightrope walk. 

Rather than asking, “How do I get better at managing everything?“ a more useful question is: “What will I choose to lose?“ It may not feel like you have a choice, but every action you take is a choice in itself. 

Choice & Boundaries 

I’ve never felt this tension more acutely than in the past week. A workshop I was scheduled to deliver was put on pause and possibly cancelled—because, as I was told, “Women’s networks may become illegal in the USA.” 

I was aware that the situation in the US was challenging, but I hadn’t realised how quickly it could have global repercussions. This created an urgent need for me to educate myself, speak out, and seek tangible solutions. Pausing DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) networks, coaching, and specific training to reassess what is and isn’t working isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, I know that data is crucial in informing decisions. That’s why I want to track the current developments and conduct a longitudinal study at six and twelve months to assess the impact of these changes. In fact, I am actively collecting data to present to parliamentary groups. If you are experiencing changes in your workplace, you can contribute here. 

To create space for this unexpected research, article writing, and activism, I had to make a choice. I decided to forgo family time on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday evenings. However, I also set a firm boundary—I was willing to sacrifice those three evenings, but I would not miss Elsie’s performance of Oliver on Saturday or our family sunshine walk on Sunday morning. 

Reflect 

Sometimes, you may choose to prioritise work. Other times, you may choose to prioritise family or loved ones. Neither is wrong. The key is setting clear boundaries based on what is okay and not okay for you. 

Consider your own boundaries: 

• Is it okay for your children to be in breakfast and after-school clubs? 

• Is it okay to miss sports day? 

• Is it okay to travel for work—and if so, how many days per year? 

The list goes on. There is no right or wrong, only conscious choices. The guilt and shame we carry around these decisions often stem from societal conditioning rather than personal values. By defining your boundaries, you make empowered decisions instead of falling into default patterns. 

As always, my inbox is open—I’m just an email away. 

Keep opening up, 
Hannah 

P.S. Intentional Careers for STEM Women is now available as an audiobook. Recording it was an incredible experience—I was finally able to express my writing exactly as I intended. If you’ve read or listened to my book, I’d be incredibly grateful if you could leave a review on Amazon. It helps more than I can possibly say. 

P.P.S. When you’re ready, here are four ways I can support you: 

1. 📖 Benchmark your career for free: Take the Career Accelerator Scorecard and receive a personalised report. Get started. 

1. 💻 Join the Intentional Careers™ Workshop: Register for free, multiple dates and times available. Sign up here. 

1. 🗣️ Explore the Career Design Mastermind: Our flagship six-month group coaching programme. Cohort 9 starts in April 2025 Learn more. 

1. 🎤 Book me as a speaker: Need inspiration for your next event? Hit reply or visit hannahnikeroberts.com.