When Overworking Becomes Compulsion
Summer solstice offered a moment of pause to celebrate, illuminate, and clarify. I’ve been celebrating the balance I once dreamed of between work and family life, illuminating the next creative phase of my life’s work, and clarifying the first steps to bring it to life. I did this with an amazing group of women in the Catalyst business mastermind in Marrakech under the desert sun. But ease around balance hasn’t always been easeful.
When Overworking Becomes a Compulsion
“It’s only a few more days until the deadline,” I told myself. I’d worked all day, handled everything at home, and there I was again, back at my computer, its screen glaring at me. It was nine in the evening. I felt dizzy and anxious, but I pushed through to finish those colour-coded pivot tables before midnight.
One deadline replaced another, and another, and another. It was an insidious spiral that crept up on me over time. I poured everything into that job for years, convinced that my dedication meant something. That I was making an impact and future-proofing my career. I even worked through two precious maternity leaves in service of that belief.
I feared that if I fully stepped back, I’d disappear. That’s where shame hides. I couldn’t see or feel the impact I was supposedly creating, and when I left, all I got was a brief acknowledgment, something like, “Oh yeah, you really helped us out.” “Helped you out?” I thought. It landed like a jolt, a moment that revealed the cost I hadn’t realised I was paying. I had sacrificed my health and relationships, convinced my worth was tied to my work. At the time, if you’d asked me why, I would have said, “I don’t have a choice.”
That moment was my wake-up call, I needed to disentangle my self-worth from my work.
Have you seen the meme that does the rounds on social media?
“I’m humble enough to know I’m replaceable at work but confident enough to know it would take four people.”
Beneath the humour, and perhaps a touch of smugness, is something far more uncomfortable. If I stop delivering, stop doing, just stop… Who am I without my output? Where does my sense of worth come from? What if I have to feel that?
The Pusher
The Pusher is a part of us that’s highly ambitious, relentlessly driven, and deeply averse to rest. It tries to keep us safe through unrelenting productivity. Slowing down or stopping breaks the Pusher’s rules, often triggering our Inner Critic to lash out and demand we get back to it, now.
If your health, relationships, or sense of fulfilment are suffering because of a strong Pusher part, you’re not alone. Burning the midnight oil isn’t always about career ambition, it’s often a compulsion. Workaholism isn’t just cultural, it’s neurological. Rooted in shame, survival, and an inner Pusher that refuses to let you stop.
This part is less about healthy ambition and more about managing internal discomfort through productivity. It whispers, “If you don’t do this, you’re not enough.” But no matter how much you do, it never stops pushing.
The Hidden Scars of Compulsion
Recent reports highlight lifelong scars from work addiction, collapsing at work, chronic illness, loneliness, shattered relationships, and a haunting inability to “just be” afterwards. One case in point, Marion’s workaholism led to blindness, yet she worked even harder to prove she was “fine”. Another, Laura fainted during a meeting, then dusted herself off to finish it, terrified of seeming weak.
This isn’t simple overcommitment. It’s a behavioural addiction that hijacks your nervous system, acting on compulsion, not choice.
Culture Meets Compulsion
Workaholism is fuelled by both personal and environmental forces. Organisations can act as Pushers too, rewarding long hours and over-delivery, sometimes without realising. A masculine, competitive culture only amplifies this, reinforcing the Pusher’s voice, work more, prove more, rest less.
When the Body Finally Speaks
At first, adrenaline and achievement may feel like momentum. But long term? The cost is real, Weakened immunity, insomnia, anxiety, burnout that lingers like trauma.
Manaudy described it as being physically present but mentally absent, work-defined and never fully alive. Pushing through isn’t resilience, it’s resistance to rest.
From Compulsion to Cognitive Choice
Here’s how to begin reclaiming autonomy from your inner Pusher:
- Name the Pusher. Recognise that overworking isn’t ambition, it’s compulsion.
- Notice What It’s Avoiding. Anxiety? Shame? Loneliness? What feelings are you distracting yourself from?
- Pause the Cycle. Create small, non-negotiable breaks where work stops. Phone off. Brain out. No open tabs to sneak back to.
- Offer an Alternative Ritual. Build friction into your system to protect recovery. Even five minutes of mindfulness, a walk, or a conversation can dismantle the push.
- Rewire and Reconnect. Reclaim your nervous system through rest and connection, to yourself, others, and the world around you.
Thought to Leave You With
The Pusher’s power only lasts as long as you obey it. By choosing presence over performance, rest over relentlessness, you move from survival to sovereignty. Rest isn’t the opposite of ambition, it’s what makes sustainable leadership possible.
Reflective Journal Prompts
- ☕ When did your Pusher last whisper, “Do more, rest later”? What was it trying to protect you from?
- ☕ How does your body feel when you end the workday, rested, tired-but-wired, or withdrawn?
- ☕ What small ritual (even five minutes) can interrupt the overwork compulsion and invite choice?
As always, I’m just an email away if you’d like to explore how to move from compulsion to choice by getting space from your strong Pusher part and discovering new ways of working and living in balance.
Keep opening up,
Hannah
P.S. When you’re ready, here are three ways I can support you for free:
- 📖 Step 1: Take the Career Accelerator Scorecard Benchmark your career and receive your personalised strategy report. Start here
- 💻 Step 2: Join the Intentional Careers™ Workshop Free, actionable and hosted live. Register here
- ➡️ Step 3: Book a free 45-minute 1-2-1 Strategy Session Together we’ll shape a plan that fits your unique situation. Book here
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